ALL IS GRACE!

Last September 29 was our 4th month here in the seminary. And somehow I am dumbfounded that I survived here for 4 months. Few weeks after I entered here in the seminary, our former Bishop and my friend went here to attend a book launching, I came to meet him in the corridor and he suddenly told me, “O Jay, ‘wag kang iiyak dito. Matanda ka na! Pag lumabas ka ng seminary, ibig sabihin ordination mo na. No other alternatives!” I was wordless. I do not know what to tell him. I just smiled at him. I just smiled at him not because I no longer want stay here. I smiled at him because I know that it would still be a long way and there is no assurance if I can finish this. I know I want to be a priest. However, it still depends upon the graces that God will bestow upon me. I am here in the seminary because of Him. I can only survive here in the seminary because of His graces.


When I visited Father Soc in his new Diocese last home weekend, I asked him: “How are you here Father?” He answered me with great confidence and sincerity, “I am very much happy here, Jay. You know, when I was still with you at Bataan, I did my best, I offered my all for you, and I am very happy to be with you. When God told me to move on, I am still happy, because I gave all that I can offer. I did all that I can do for you. When God asks you to do something, always offer your best.” Then I realized that God let me enter the seminary. And for that reason, I must always give the best of my best. So that if ever, God would tell me to move on, I can still be proud and happy that I gave all my best.


Life here in the seminary is fun indeed. There are no questions for that. I have finally found the right place for me. When I was still outside, I would always told myself “I hope to find my place in the greater scheme of things” Now, I found my place in the greater scheme of things and I am very happy with that. However, there is no assurance here in the seminary. As I have said earlier, all depends on the grace of God. Even if you are not doing something foul, and tainted here, there is always uneasiness and apprehensions. I am very much afraid that one day, my formator would tell me to go out, to move on. There is always doubt. But I remembered what Fr. Jun Seson told us in our class. The moment your doubts on your vocation vanished, that’s the moment you should doubt.


“I know all things will come to an end, even the best and happiest ones. When the heavy and painful events are over, we sigh with relief, breathing out a silent prayer of thanksgiving. But when the beautiful things end, the challenge of the moment is to respond with obedience and faith. God knows what is best. When its time for me to go, I will go. Parting always involves sadness. But parting is also a subtle invitation to plunge into deeper waters, to venture into unknown, and trust more in the power of God.” –Abp. Soc


When it is time to go, I will go, as God wants me to. I will go. But as long as I am here, I will always give my best. I will always offer my all. Last May 29, when I entered here, I told myself, I am now ready to face all the pains and joys that I may encounter here in the seminary. After 4 months, I am still ready to face them all.


I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! I can do all things through Him, with Him, in Him! All is grace!